-If you currently have the ability to bend at the waist- be thankful! For those of us who cannot, Christmas decorating is extremely difficult.
- Pregnancy exhaustion makes you do really attractive things like fall asleep sitting up in a chair at 8:30 PM on a Saturday night (date night) with drool hanging from your wide-open mouth.
-Pregnancy "brain" makes you do really ridiculous things like teach your Kindergarten class that George Washington is on the nickel, throw your jewelry in the trash and put your trash on your nightstand and forget the name of common objects like fork or spoon.
-Nesting for me = crawling on the floor picking up miniscule specks of dirt the vacuum missed and an obsession with bleach.
-It is possible to remove the roll from toilet paper rolls completely intact- just as Delaney.
-Having a toddler who thinks they have a baby in their belly too leads to interesting conversation at daycare.
-The age of 3 is certainly challenging and I have to frequently remind myself that Delaney is 3, not 14. I commented on this out to dinner the other night by saying to my hubby "I'm not so sure I like the age of 3." To which Delaney responded, "Well, that's a problem!".
-Santa is a confusing concept to a 3yr old. Delaney is a bit scared by the man with a big white beard who is always watching her. Tonight before bed she whispers to me "Mommy, Santa was here! Look at my dresser- he stole my jewelry box!". Oops! I put the jewelry box in the closet to make room for something else on her dresser. I'll let the man in the red suit take the blame for now. He's going to get all the credit for the great gifts I bought so it's only fair :)
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Outsmarted
Why do we say "no'? Sometimes out of necessity, but sometimes out of habit. Its almost like a reflex. Your child opens their mouth and out flies "NO!". It comes out before we have even fully thought out or even created a defense for the answer. This story is a perfect case in point of why as parents we should always think before we say no. Have a good reason for giving it or you may just be outsmarted. Thanks to my mouth for working before my brain and spitting out "NO!" I was outsmarted by my child just shy of her 3rd birthday.
Monkey "Can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast?"
Me: "NO! We don't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast!" (Really!?! Why not?? Is that a law?)
Monkey: "What can I have?"
Me: "Cereal, waffles, muffins, toast."
Monkey: "Toast?"
Me: "Sure, toast is a great breakfast choice!"
Monkey: "Toast with jelly?"
Me (in my brain) "OH CRAP!" and then out loud "Suuuuurrrreeee."
Monkey: "Could I have toast with peanut butter on it?"
Me: "Weeeeeelllll, you could."
Hmm...did you figure out where this is going. At this point in the story I started to take the peanut butter, jelly and bread out of the cabinet in preparation for the best pb and j my child will probably ever eat.
Monkey, in her best 15yr. old voice: "So Mom, if I have peanut butter and toast and I can have jelly and toast, can I have peanut butter and jelly on toast?"
Me, with a resigned sigh: "Sure, kiddo. I am making it right now."
Why I said no to pb &j for breakfast is beyond me. Look at her rationale- it makes perfect sense. We do eat peanut butter or jelly on toast and there was no reason she could not have the two together for breakfast, except that my Mommy brain was set on "NO!".
Note to self: Think before you speak and have that defense prepared unless you want to continue to feel as if your child is smarter than you.
“Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?” Jon Stewart
Monkey "Can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast?"
Me: "NO! We don't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast!" (Really!?! Why not?? Is that a law?)
Monkey: "What can I have?"
Me: "Cereal, waffles, muffins, toast."
Monkey: "Toast?"
Me: "Sure, toast is a great breakfast choice!"
Monkey: "Toast with jelly?"
Me (in my brain) "OH CRAP!" and then out loud "Suuuuurrrreeee."
Monkey: "Could I have toast with peanut butter on it?"
Me: "Weeeeeelllll, you could."
Hmm...did you figure out where this is going. At this point in the story I started to take the peanut butter, jelly and bread out of the cabinet in preparation for the best pb and j my child will probably ever eat.
Monkey, in her best 15yr. old voice: "So Mom, if I have peanut butter and toast and I can have jelly and toast, can I have peanut butter and jelly on toast?"
Me, with a resigned sigh: "Sure, kiddo. I am making it right now."
Why I said no to pb &j for breakfast is beyond me. Look at her rationale- it makes perfect sense. We do eat peanut butter or jelly on toast and there was no reason she could not have the two together for breakfast, except that my Mommy brain was set on "NO!".
Note to self: Think before you speak and have that defense prepared unless you want to continue to feel as if your child is smarter than you.
“Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?” Jon Stewart
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Pregnancy Round 2
Monkey Momma Revelations 13 weeks into "Pregnancy Round 2".
1. The need to clean and organize is extreme. In the past week, I have created a picture-based organization system for the toys and tupperware, spent an hour putting away groceries and "rotating stock" in the refrigerator and cleaned my couches by hand with the 2 inch wide brush attachment of my steam cleaner.
2. Your body does not forget what it means to be pregnant and loves to show it off. In other words, you have more morning sickness, your belly starts to stick out sooner, the need to pee is more frequent and your back starts to ache sooner.
3. The 1st trimester is much easier when you only have to take care of yourself. The 2nd time around your monkey watches a little more TV than you may be proud of, the laundry you put in the washer but forgot about becomes moldy and "dinner" becomes whatever you can put together in under 10 minutes.
4. The creator of prenatal vitamins is a masochist. This is why he created these large pills for you to choke down only to feel sick two minutes later from taking them.
5. You feel guilty and worry that you won't have quite as much time to spend with your monkey when a new little one arrives. You lavish so much attention on them now that they roll their eyes after the 78th hug and kiss of the day.
6. People automatically think that you are hoping for the opposite sex of your first child. Truly, I am hoping for a happy, healthy baby who doesn't inherit my frizzy hair.
7. You wonder how you are going to do it all....at least 1,354,629 times a day.
8. Pregnancy 1- "I don't even miss drinking!"
Pregnancy 2- "I could use a tequila shot!"
9. Crying over all things ridiculous is okay and to be expected. For example, I cried this week because Delaney was invited to her first school friend birthday party. This was a monumentous "big girl" event for me. Delaney just wanted to know if they were going to have a princess birthday cake.
10. You are working at about 50% brainpower. This week I fed the dog a prenatal vitamin instead of her pill. I have no clue how she choked it down, but her fur is nice and shiny!
11. You tear up (yup, another reason to cry) when you recall all those sweet moments you share with a newborn baby and wish you could speed the pregnancy calendar up a little.
Disclaimer: Don't freak out people! I am THRILLED to be pregnant for the 2nd time! The intent of this post is not to discourage someone from having a 2nd child or to complain about being pregnant- this is simply my comedic relief in regards to the quirks of pregnancy. I cannot wait to welcome a new little monkey to the world March 2012!
1. The need to clean and organize is extreme. In the past week, I have created a picture-based organization system for the toys and tupperware, spent an hour putting away groceries and "rotating stock" in the refrigerator and cleaned my couches by hand with the 2 inch wide brush attachment of my steam cleaner.
2. Your body does not forget what it means to be pregnant and loves to show it off. In other words, you have more morning sickness, your belly starts to stick out sooner, the need to pee is more frequent and your back starts to ache sooner.
3. The 1st trimester is much easier when you only have to take care of yourself. The 2nd time around your monkey watches a little more TV than you may be proud of, the laundry you put in the washer but forgot about becomes moldy and "dinner" becomes whatever you can put together in under 10 minutes.
4. The creator of prenatal vitamins is a masochist. This is why he created these large pills for you to choke down only to feel sick two minutes later from taking them.
5. You feel guilty and worry that you won't have quite as much time to spend with your monkey when a new little one arrives. You lavish so much attention on them now that they roll their eyes after the 78th hug and kiss of the day.
6. People automatically think that you are hoping for the opposite sex of your first child. Truly, I am hoping for a happy, healthy baby who doesn't inherit my frizzy hair.
7. You wonder how you are going to do it all....at least 1,354,629 times a day.
8. Pregnancy 1- "I don't even miss drinking!"
Pregnancy 2- "I could use a tequila shot!"
9. Crying over all things ridiculous is okay and to be expected. For example, I cried this week because Delaney was invited to her first school friend birthday party. This was a monumentous "big girl" event for me. Delaney just wanted to know if they were going to have a princess birthday cake.
10. You are working at about 50% brainpower. This week I fed the dog a prenatal vitamin instead of her pill. I have no clue how she choked it down, but her fur is nice and shiny!
11. You tear up (yup, another reason to cry) when you recall all those sweet moments you share with a newborn baby and wish you could speed the pregnancy calendar up a little.
Disclaimer: Don't freak out people! I am THRILLED to be pregnant for the 2nd time! The intent of this post is not to discourage someone from having a 2nd child or to complain about being pregnant- this is simply my comedic relief in regards to the quirks of pregnancy. I cannot wait to welcome a new little monkey to the world March 2012!
Monday, August 15, 2011
"Zzzzzz"
What is it that causes a tired child to become a wild child? When Delaney is overly tired she becomes insane. We recently went to Dutch Wonderland and she was awake the entire hour trip up, 7 hours of park time and hour trip home. When we got home the theme of the night was "chill out". She was so tired, but fighting sleep every step of the way. By 7:30 she was literally running in circles around our kitchen island bumping into cabinets and laughing a slightly psychotic laugh. We have seen this second wind before and it usually ends in disaster (i.e. boo-boos, tears, broken toys and general destruction.
Operation Get In Bed begins....
After a bath and a story and the requests of 700 unnecessary items in her bed (a bucket, a tiara and a firetruck to name a few), I turned out the light, turned on Laurie Berkener (our savior) and said "Goodnight!". Then the screams began. Big, giant sobs destined to break any mother's heart. When I return to the room Delaney tells me she can't sleep without me. Now, I have gotten in the toddler bed but the noises it makes when I do so are kind of scary so I lay on the floor next to the bed. This seemed to make her happy for a few minutes. Then, she asked me to hold her hand. So for the next 40 minutes I laid on the floor (using a stuffed animal for a pillow), reaching my arm up over the side of the bed and held my little girls hand. I tried to sneak out a few times, but each time her sweaty, little hand grabbed on a little tighter and she said "Please don't leave, Mommy!". And I wouldn't. There was no way I was letting go of my sweet little girls hand until she was ready. At that moment, I realized just how much I love my little monkey and what an amazing bond we have. While I am not religious, I do know that I am blessed.....and thankful!
Operation Get In Bed begins....
After a bath and a story and the requests of 700 unnecessary items in her bed (a bucket, a tiara and a firetruck to name a few), I turned out the light, turned on Laurie Berkener (our savior) and said "Goodnight!". Then the screams began. Big, giant sobs destined to break any mother's heart. When I return to the room Delaney tells me she can't sleep without me. Now, I have gotten in the toddler bed but the noises it makes when I do so are kind of scary so I lay on the floor next to the bed. This seemed to make her happy for a few minutes. Then, she asked me to hold her hand. So for the next 40 minutes I laid on the floor (using a stuffed animal for a pillow), reaching my arm up over the side of the bed and held my little girls hand. I tried to sneak out a few times, but each time her sweaty, little hand grabbed on a little tighter and she said "Please don't leave, Mommy!". And I wouldn't. There was no way I was letting go of my sweet little girls hand until she was ready. At that moment, I realized just how much I love my little monkey and what an amazing bond we have. While I am not religious, I do know that I am blessed.....and thankful!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Giving Eleanor, Rosa and Eva a run for their money
Okay, name me some headstrong women in history....Susan B. Anthony, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Eva Peron... Guess what ladies? You have nothing on my monkey. I promise you she can run circles around your willful ways. Here are some examples:
1. Me: "Delaney, you have to wear your shoes to walk on the sand at the beach because its hot."
Delaney: "It's not hot!" as she kicks off her shoes and walks towards the dunes with no shoes on.
5 steps later she turns around and says "Mommy, get your shoes on because this sand is really hot!" and puts her shoes on.
2. On a playdate today Delaney announces she is going upstairs to get chips. I tell her that her friend will have to go home if she goes upstairs as we are playing downstairs. She walks over to the corner of the room for a minute to think. A few minutes later she comes back and says to me like I am incredibly silly "Mommy, we don't need chips we have our imaginations!".
3. After 15 minutes of begging, pleading and bribery I decided it wasn't that important for Delaney to wear clothing. It just wasn't worth the struggle. When I give up she looks at me and says "Mommy, you gotta get me dressed I can't just be naked in here!".
4. Delaney recently made a decision to stop saying the "y" or "ie" sound at the end of all words.
To name a few: Mommy= Mom
Daddy= Dad
Mimi= Mim (pronounced "meem")
potty= pot
Chloe - Chlo (rhymes with glow)
When I correct her (i.e. "It's potteee"), she says "Yeah, Mom! Pot." Fine, I give up!
The official definition of headstrong is: determined to have one's own way; willful; stubborn; obstinate. While it may be a trait in my 2 1/2 yr. old which makes me crazy, at times, I guarantee no one is going to get one over on her later in life and that makes me proud :)
Teacher friends, can't you just see her report card comments now?
1. Me: "Delaney, you have to wear your shoes to walk on the sand at the beach because its hot."
Delaney: "It's not hot!" as she kicks off her shoes and walks towards the dunes with no shoes on.
5 steps later she turns around and says "Mommy, get your shoes on because this sand is really hot!" and puts her shoes on.
2. On a playdate today Delaney announces she is going upstairs to get chips. I tell her that her friend will have to go home if she goes upstairs as we are playing downstairs. She walks over to the corner of the room for a minute to think. A few minutes later she comes back and says to me like I am incredibly silly "Mommy, we don't need chips we have our imaginations!".
3. After 15 minutes of begging, pleading and bribery I decided it wasn't that important for Delaney to wear clothing. It just wasn't worth the struggle. When I give up she looks at me and says "Mommy, you gotta get me dressed I can't just be naked in here!".
4. Delaney recently made a decision to stop saying the "y" or "ie" sound at the end of all words.
To name a few: Mommy= Mom
Daddy= Dad
Mimi= Mim (pronounced "meem")
potty= pot
Chloe - Chlo (rhymes with glow)
When I correct her (i.e. "It's potteee"), she says "Yeah, Mom! Pot." Fine, I give up!
The official definition of headstrong is: determined to have one's own way; willful; stubborn; obstinate. While it may be a trait in my 2 1/2 yr. old which makes me crazy, at times, I guarantee no one is going to get one over on her later in life and that makes me proud :)
Teacher friends, can't you just see her report card comments now?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Pee me a river
I have no complaints about potty training. It has been a smooth, easy process in our house. I mean of course I knew there would be some accidents but today there was an accident of epic proportions.
We are in Barnes and Nobles Children's section looking at books and having a great time. Delaney starts to play on the storytime stage with a few other children. She is having a great time singing and dancing and then I hear it- the gasp of the snooty mom in a scarf (seriously?!? the heat index was 102 today, lady!) pushing the $500 stroller. I slowly follow her evil eye to Delaney and AHHHH! Delaney is standing in the middle of the stage peeing a river. Uh oh! I run to her and try to convince her to stop- no luck (are you surprised? I mean really who stops in the middle of peeing?) . Then I just wait it out as "scarf and friends" stare at us whispering in dismay. No offer of help, no sympathetic looks. I mean really, could I get a tissue or something? Once she is done I scoop Delaney up and haul her off to the car before I get into a mom fight with "scarf and friends". On our way out I kindly stop at the information desk and let them know there was a "small potty accident on the storytime stage". I didn't tell them they would probably need a wet vac and scuba gear, but that's a minor detail. I trudge across the parking lot carrying my soaking wet child who is only more than happy to share the wealth with me and my entire side is pee-soaked by the time we get to the car. We drove home in in pee-covered silence making a pit stop to get Chik-Fil-A milkshakes before coming home to delouse. As I go to take D out of the car she looks at me sincerely and says "I'm your daughter and I love your soooooo much, Mommy!".
That's all she needed to say. The slate is clean my monkey, I will be eagerly awaiting tomorrow's embarrassment be it temper tantrum, slip of tongue or river of urine.
We are in Barnes and Nobles Children's section looking at books and having a great time. Delaney starts to play on the storytime stage with a few other children. She is having a great time singing and dancing and then I hear it- the gasp of the snooty mom in a scarf (seriously?!? the heat index was 102 today, lady!) pushing the $500 stroller. I slowly follow her evil eye to Delaney and AHHHH! Delaney is standing in the middle of the stage peeing a river. Uh oh! I run to her and try to convince her to stop- no luck (are you surprised? I mean really who stops in the middle of peeing?) . Then I just wait it out as "scarf and friends" stare at us whispering in dismay. No offer of help, no sympathetic looks. I mean really, could I get a tissue or something? Once she is done I scoop Delaney up and haul her off to the car before I get into a mom fight with "scarf and friends". On our way out I kindly stop at the information desk and let them know there was a "small potty accident on the storytime stage". I didn't tell them they would probably need a wet vac and scuba gear, but that's a minor detail. I trudge across the parking lot carrying my soaking wet child who is only more than happy to share the wealth with me and my entire side is pee-soaked by the time we get to the car. We drove home in in pee-covered silence making a pit stop to get Chik-Fil-A milkshakes before coming home to delouse. As I go to take D out of the car she looks at me sincerely and says "I'm your daughter and I love your soooooo much, Mommy!".
That's all she needed to say. The slate is clean my monkey, I will be eagerly awaiting tomorrow's embarrassment be it temper tantrum, slip of tongue or river of urine.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Lessons Learned
A brief summary of the lessons learned on our 10 day vacation...
1. Public restrooms should be renamed "Please Touch Museum" for newly potty trained two year olds.
2. My monkey is easier to potty train than my dog. 6 years later and my dog still pees in the house, yet Delaney is more than willing to pee outside after having to once (there was nowhere else to go!!). Case in point- she eagerly pulled down her pants and peed in our backyard while playing outside today.
3. Sleeping in a strange place leads to bedtime temper tantrums for children and sleeping on the floor for parents.
4. The sound of someone chewing on sand is worse than nails on a chalkboard.
5. The songs in Disney movies are no longer cute when you cannot escape the confines of the car in which they are being played.
6. It is possible for a human to become a pack mule in order to minimize the number of trips from car to beach.
7. Children under the age of 10 should only ever be taken to restaurants with characters... thanks Mako Mike's!
8. Bribery is not all wrong. Particularly if you want to eat, sleep and/or maintain sanity.
1. Public restrooms should be renamed "Please Touch Museum" for newly potty trained two year olds.
2. My monkey is easier to potty train than my dog. 6 years later and my dog still pees in the house, yet Delaney is more than willing to pee outside after having to once (there was nowhere else to go!!). Case in point- she eagerly pulled down her pants and peed in our backyard while playing outside today.
3. Sleeping in a strange place leads to bedtime temper tantrums for children and sleeping on the floor for parents.
4. The sound of someone chewing on sand is worse than nails on a chalkboard.
5. The songs in Disney movies are no longer cute when you cannot escape the confines of the car in which they are being played.
6. It is possible for a human to become a pack mule in order to minimize the number of trips from car to beach.
7. Children under the age of 10 should only ever be taken to restaurants with characters... thanks Mako Mike's!
8. Bribery is not all wrong. Particularly if you want to eat, sleep and/or maintain sanity.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Round 2
I was one of those people who swore I would never use the term "terrible two's". What loving parent uses the word terrible to describe anything regarding their children, right? WRONG! The term is real and applies to my two year old. It is not D who is terrible (she is my wonderful, amazing child) but the behavior of the age two is TERRIBLE!
We encountered the crying, tantrums and headstrong behavior of the two's early on right before D turned two and for about two months afterwards. Since then, its been pretty smooth sailing....well besides the dime swallowing..... No parenting book tells you there is a lull in the terrible two's- this beautiful stage where you think it's safe to take your child out to eat and where if you ask them to pick up their toys their head won't spin around in an exorcist-type of rage.
Then 2 3/4's rears its ugly head and what returns is the terrible two's in a child with a better vocabulary skills, improved negotiation techniques and an understanding of manipulation. And she has a list of demands....At last count, she started 4 out of 5 sentences with "I want...."
For your amusement, here are a few examples....
While dealing with a tantrum I stop and count to 10 in my head. There is a pause in the tantruming and Delaney asks "Mommy what are you doing?" Me: "Counting to 10.". Delaney: "I can count to 10 too!" Me: "I know honey, but we do it for different reasons."
Delaney at 8 PM: "I WANT JUICE!"
Me: "I would be happy to give you a drink of milk before bed when you can use your manners!"
Delaney: "I WANT JUICE NOW!"
Me: "Try again!"
Delaney (in her sweetest voice): "Please may I have a drink of milk, Mommy!"
Me: "Sure!"
As I pull the milk out of the fridge, what happens?? Delaney throws herself to the floor and screams: "NO! NO! NO! I WANT JUICE!".
Back to square 1.
Delaney in Negotiation Mode: "Can I have a milkshake?" (Yup! Mom of the Year over here let her have a milkshake one time and has yet to live it down.)
Me: "No, milkshakes are just for sometimes we don't have them everyday."
Delaney: "Can I have a milkshake now."
Me: "No, you may not."
Delaney: "Can I have a milkshake now?"
Me: "No, dinner is in a few minutes and we will all eat then."
Delaney: "I want a milkshake for dinner!"
Me: "Yes, honey we all do."
Fortunately, the glimpses of my bright, sweet little girl are becoming more frequent and for that I am thankful.
We encountered the crying, tantrums and headstrong behavior of the two's early on right before D turned two and for about two months afterwards. Since then, its been pretty smooth sailing....well besides the dime swallowing..... No parenting book tells you there is a lull in the terrible two's- this beautiful stage where you think it's safe to take your child out to eat and where if you ask them to pick up their toys their head won't spin around in an exorcist-type of rage.
Then 2 3/4's rears its ugly head and what returns is the terrible two's in a child with a better vocabulary skills, improved negotiation techniques and an understanding of manipulation. And she has a list of demands....At last count, she started 4 out of 5 sentences with "I want...."
For your amusement, here are a few examples....
While dealing with a tantrum I stop and count to 10 in my head. There is a pause in the tantruming and Delaney asks "Mommy what are you doing?" Me: "Counting to 10.". Delaney: "I can count to 10 too!" Me: "I know honey, but we do it for different reasons."
Delaney at 8 PM: "I WANT JUICE!"
Me: "I would be happy to give you a drink of milk before bed when you can use your manners!"
Delaney: "I WANT JUICE NOW!"
Me: "Try again!"
Delaney (in her sweetest voice): "Please may I have a drink of milk, Mommy!"
Me: "Sure!"
As I pull the milk out of the fridge, what happens?? Delaney throws herself to the floor and screams: "NO! NO! NO! I WANT JUICE!".
Back to square 1.
Delaney in Negotiation Mode: "Can I have a milkshake?" (Yup! Mom of the Year over here let her have a milkshake one time and has yet to live it down.)
Me: "No, milkshakes are just for sometimes we don't have them everyday."
Delaney: "Can I have a milkshake now."
Me: "No, you may not."
Delaney: "Can I have a milkshake now?"
Me: "No, dinner is in a few minutes and we will all eat then."
Delaney: "I want a milkshake for dinner!"
Me: "Yes, honey we all do."
Fortunately, the glimpses of my bright, sweet little girl are becoming more frequent and for that I am thankful.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Things I Never Expected to Hear (or Answer) #932
1. "Mommy, is their poop in my dime?" Unfortunately, the answer was no. Still no dime, 2 nickels or 10 pennies. The human piggy bank refuses to give them up.
2. D: "Mommy, why is Daddy naked? Why is that guy naked? Why is you naked?"
Me: "None of those people or naked. Daddy and the other man have their shirts off. Mommy is wearing a bathing suit (and its a mom suit so it covers everything) and that is what people wear on the beach."
3. "AHHH! Chloe is turning brown!" Uh, no. The dog has brown spots.
4. "What does the pink light mean?" In reference to the stop light. She wasn't taking there is no such thing as an answer so I responded "It means beep the horn." Unfortunately that led to horn beeping (for imaginary pink lights).
5. "The bird pooped in the bathroom!!" Nice guess, but that is just toothpaste in the sink.
6. Me: "What shoes do you want to wear today?"
D: "Hmm... I think I'll rock my crocs."
7. My 2 1/2 yr. old BELTING out Katy Perry "Firework" from the backseat and then asking "Can we listen to Bob Marley next?".
2. D: "Mommy, why is Daddy naked? Why is that guy naked? Why is you naked?"
Me: "None of those people or naked. Daddy and the other man have their shirts off. Mommy is wearing a bathing suit (and its a mom suit so it covers everything) and that is what people wear on the beach."
3. "AHHH! Chloe is turning brown!" Uh, no. The dog has brown spots.
4. "What does the pink light mean?" In reference to the stop light. She wasn't taking there is no such thing as an answer so I responded "It means beep the horn." Unfortunately that led to horn beeping (for imaginary pink lights).
5. "The bird pooped in the bathroom!!" Nice guess, but that is just toothpaste in the sink.
6. Me: "What shoes do you want to wear today?"
D: "Hmm... I think I'll rock my crocs."
7. My 2 1/2 yr. old BELTING out Katy Perry "Firework" from the backseat and then asking "Can we listen to Bob Marley next?".
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Blame it on Daddy
As I go to take Delaney out of her car seat this morning, I find her thoroughly inspecting her hands palm-side up. Pointing to the lines on her hands, she innocently looks at me and says "Oh no! Daddy wrote on my hands while I was sleeping!".
I didn't tell her any different....
I didn't tell her any different....
Saturday, May 21, 2011
D is for "Dime Delaney Digested"
That's right, ladies and gentleman, I am in the presence of a real, live piggy bank. At least for the next 24-48 hours according to the doctor.
Delaney walks in to the room this morning and she is coughing. She kind of scowls and says "I think the penny is in my belly now!". Of course my reaction is "WHAT?!?!". She continues on to tell me that she found the "penny" on the floor in my room and it was "a circle" and it was the color "gray" and "it went downed my throat into my belly". While I appreciate the awesome description it is a believable story which leads me to call Daddy and tell him we are headed to the ER.
One hour in and out of the ER and we have an x-ray picture for the baby book of the swallowed penny (which according to description is more likely a dime) and are anxiously awaiting the exit of the coin. I am happy to report Delaney continues to be her happy, funny self and refuses to allow the swallowing of a foreign object to slow her down.
ER visits to date: 2
Delaney walks in to the room this morning and she is coughing. She kind of scowls and says "I think the penny is in my belly now!". Of course my reaction is "WHAT?!?!". She continues on to tell me that she found the "penny" on the floor in my room and it was "a circle" and it was the color "gray" and "it went downed my throat into my belly". While I appreciate the awesome description it is a believable story which leads me to call Daddy and tell him we are headed to the ER.
One hour in and out of the ER and we have an x-ray picture for the baby book of the swallowed penny (which according to description is more likely a dime) and are anxiously awaiting the exit of the coin. I am happy to report Delaney continues to be her happy, funny self and refuses to allow the swallowing of a foreign object to slow her down.
ER visits to date: 2
Monday, May 2, 2011
Say My Name, Say My Name
Me: "Delaney how do you spell your name?"
Delaney: "D-E-L-A-E-Y. I don't feel like saying the N today."
Delaney: "D-E-L-A-E-Y. I don't feel like saying the N today."
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
And next on "Hoarders"...
Is it possible to be a hoarder at 2 1/2? I sometimes wonder....case in point...
My monkey is currently in bed with 3 different blankets ("Polka Dots", "Purple" and "Pink"), a ball, a stuffed cat ("Cassie"), 2 dolls ("Emily" and "Piggy Tails"), Rapunzel, a light-up ball, a pot from her play kitchen with a tomato in it, her cat purse, a book and two pillows ("Monkey pillow" and "Hippo pillow"). I had to draw the line at the ceramic piggy bank, although I will admit that she has slept with it before. My favorite part is not only does she hoard all of these things, but she names them also (see quotation marks above). I consider the naming a fabulous labeling skill, so maybe she will be an organized hoarder?
My monkey is currently in bed with 3 different blankets ("Polka Dots", "Purple" and "Pink"), a ball, a stuffed cat ("Cassie"), 2 dolls ("Emily" and "Piggy Tails"), Rapunzel, a light-up ball, a pot from her play kitchen with a tomato in it, her cat purse, a book and two pillows ("Monkey pillow" and "Hippo pillow"). I had to draw the line at the ceramic piggy bank, although I will admit that she has slept with it before. My favorite part is not only does she hoard all of these things, but she names them also (see quotation marks above). I consider the naming a fabulous labeling skill, so maybe she will be an organized hoarder?
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monkey Love
Now to follow up my recent sappy (yet totally true!) post...
A Few Signs of Monkey Love
1. Your monkey regurgitates their food and hands it to you at the dinner table...and you graciously take it and tuck it in a napkin.
2. You wear a tutu on one leg while playing dress-up because it doesn't fit around your waist.
3. You never go to the bathroom alone. EVER!
4. You dance to "Animal Action" 8 times in a row.
5. You make up "Once Upon A Time" stories about each member of the family, including the dog, at bed time.
6. You pretend to like bugs, worms and "Max and Ruby".
7. You squeeze yourself on to the slide that your behind is way to wide for, much to the amusement of the neighbors.
8. You smile and say "It's okay!", when your monkey pees on the floor instead of the toilet..AGAIN.
A Few Signs of Monkey Love
1. Your monkey regurgitates their food and hands it to you at the dinner table...and you graciously take it and tuck it in a napkin.
2. You wear a tutu on one leg while playing dress-up because it doesn't fit around your waist.
3. You never go to the bathroom alone. EVER!
4. You dance to "Animal Action" 8 times in a row.
5. You make up "Once Upon A Time" stories about each member of the family, including the dog, at bed time.
6. You pretend to like bugs, worms and "Max and Ruby".
7. You squeeze yourself on to the slide that your behind is way to wide for, much to the amusement of the neighbors.
8. You smile and say "It's okay!", when your monkey pees on the floor instead of the toilet..AGAIN.
Love
When you are pregnant everyone says "Just wait, you are going to love that child so much. You won't understand until they are born." And of course, the typical response is "I know, I know. I can't wait.". All the while you are thinking "Of course I am going to love this baby. How could I not?". But really, you have no idea just how much you will love that little person until they arrive. 2 and 1/2 years later I am still surprised but just how much I love my little girl. She is AMAZING...and that's pretty lackluster word for how I truly feel....
Friday, April 15, 2011
What a compliment!
As I am dressing for a work banquet the other night I come out of my room in a dress. D takes one look at me and says "Mommy, what happened to you?". I respond "I am wearing a dress. Do I look nice?". And what does she say "Hmm, can I have a snack?". Huh, guess I didn't want to know the answer to that question!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Careful what you wish for
D has LOVED "Max and Ruby" for the past year and a half. We have lived and breathed M & R non-stop since she discovered them. I am ashamed to admit we have 38 M & R's saved on the DVR, had a M & R birthday party and D can recite several episodes verbatim. So, when D recently fell in love with "The Backyardigans" we were thrilled. We have cancelled the M & R series recording and moved on to the musical world of Tyrone, Pablo, Austin, Tasha and Uniqua. HOORAY! Only one small problem...when D woke up from nap today she looked at me very seriously and said "Don't call me Delaney, call me Uniqua!".
Poo Poo Platter
Let's set the stage for this story...
D and I are playing in her kitchen. She is wearing a purple apron, t-shirt and pull-up (no, I didn't forget to type pants- she hates them and rarely has them on at home) and holding her now ever-present purse in one hand. I am wearing my normal Mom clothes, including pants, and a pink apron and pink chef hat. Keep in mind that the chef hat and apron are D's, so the apron is more like a bib and the chef's hat is cutting off blood flow to my brain as it is about 3 sizes too small and was somehow squeezed on my head. Now that you have that visual, let's move on...
As I said, we are playing the kitchen. Suddenly D exclaims "I am POOPING!" and runs for the bathroom. She is about 5 steps ahead of me as I trip over everything on the floor in the disaster area better known as her bedroom (in our defense we have been playing all morning) . What do I hear as I am turning the corner into the bathroom? "OH NO!" What do I see? Well, I will leave out the gross details but I am sure you can imagine what it looks like when a 2 yr. old has taken off her dirty pull-up and is trying to climb up a stool on to the potty in an apron carrying a purse. No surface was left untouched by the pull-ups contents. However, we were lucky enough to have the dog who tried to pull clean duty until I kicked her out of the bathroom. I on the other hand was lucky enough to clean up the mess while wearing my smashing 2 yr. old sized pink chef combo.
D and I are playing in her kitchen. She is wearing a purple apron, t-shirt and pull-up (no, I didn't forget to type pants- she hates them and rarely has them on at home) and holding her now ever-present purse in one hand. I am wearing my normal Mom clothes, including pants, and a pink apron and pink chef hat. Keep in mind that the chef hat and apron are D's, so the apron is more like a bib and the chef's hat is cutting off blood flow to my brain as it is about 3 sizes too small and was somehow squeezed on my head. Now that you have that visual, let's move on...
As I said, we are playing the kitchen. Suddenly D exclaims "I am POOPING!" and runs for the bathroom. She is about 5 steps ahead of me as I trip over everything on the floor in the disaster area better known as her bedroom (in our defense we have been playing all morning) . What do I hear as I am turning the corner into the bathroom? "OH NO!" What do I see? Well, I will leave out the gross details but I am sure you can imagine what it looks like when a 2 yr. old has taken off her dirty pull-up and is trying to climb up a stool on to the potty in an apron carrying a purse. No surface was left untouched by the pull-ups contents. However, we were lucky enough to have the dog who tried to pull clean duty until I kicked her out of the bathroom. I on the other hand was lucky enough to clean up the mess while wearing my smashing 2 yr. old sized pink chef combo.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Manners and Imagination
Monkey: "No thank you, Mommy. I don't want to go to the doctor's today. Tell Dr. Epstein I see him another day."
Me: "Sorry, sweetie but we have to."
Monkey: "Mommy, I give you money to go to the doctor and I stay here with Chloe. Does that sound like a good idea?".
Me: "No, we still have to go."
Monkey: "I think I go hide in my bedroom now."
Luckily, I know where that is.....
Me: "Sorry, sweetie but we have to."
Monkey: "Mommy, I give you money to go to the doctor and I stay here with Chloe. Does that sound like a good idea?".
Me: "No, we still have to go."
Monkey: "I think I go hide in my bedroom now."
Luckily, I know where that is.....
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
"I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! " (sung to the tune of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand")
Monkey: "Mommy, I'm gonna squeeze your barrettes!"
Me: "What??"
Monkey: "Your barrettes!" followed by two firm squeezes of....you guessed it....my breasts!
Once again, teaching the proper terminology has bit me in the behind (that's the word we use at my house) AGAIN! The squeezing part, well, I am not sure where that came from!
Me: "What??"
Monkey: "Your barrettes!" followed by two firm squeezes of....you guessed it....my breasts!
Once again, teaching the proper terminology has bit me in the behind (that's the word we use at my house) AGAIN! The squeezing part, well, I am not sure where that came from!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Good Morning!
Mornings at the G house are usually crazy. I always joke with the neighbor that I must look like a total lunatic when leaving the house in the morning. Now, I have decided to write about it. Here's a look into the typical departure from the G house...
1. I am usually running late (well, what I consider late since I like to get to work 45 minutes early).
2. I refuse to make more than one trip from the house to the car. This means I carry approximately 22.3 bags of crap (this equals 11.15 bags on each arm) from the house to the car while trying to convince a 2 year old with no sense of urgency to walk to the car. "No, Mommy is not carrying you today." "Please don't run down the street." "Ahh! Why are you taking your shoes off!"
3. Every time we open the front door the dog tries to run out. So when the door is open you have to strategically place yourself between the storm and screen door so the dog cannot escape. And if she does escape yelling and cursing ensues. Imagine trying to cover your 2 year old's ears while carrying those 22.3 bags of crap!
4. Our driveway is on an incline. So, one misstep and you and/or your child and/or your 22.3 bags of crap could roll down the hill at any time. All 3 happened once, but I prefer to not talk about that day.
5. There is a bus stop at our corner. If I get stuck behind the bus it puts me at least 5 minutes behind. If I open the front door and can hear the bus coming we only have 3 seconds to get in the car. Not a pretty sight!
1. I am usually running late (well, what I consider late since I like to get to work 45 minutes early).
2. I refuse to make more than one trip from the house to the car. This means I carry approximately 22.3 bags of crap (this equals 11.15 bags on each arm) from the house to the car while trying to convince a 2 year old with no sense of urgency to walk to the car. "No, Mommy is not carrying you today." "Please don't run down the street." "Ahh! Why are you taking your shoes off!"
3. Every time we open the front door the dog tries to run out. So when the door is open you have to strategically place yourself between the storm and screen door so the dog cannot escape. And if she does escape yelling and cursing ensues. Imagine trying to cover your 2 year old's ears while carrying those 22.3 bags of crap!
4. Our driveway is on an incline. So, one misstep and you and/or your child and/or your 22.3 bags of crap could roll down the hill at any time. All 3 happened once, but I prefer to not talk about that day.
5. There is a bus stop at our corner. If I get stuck behind the bus it puts me at least 5 minutes behind. If I open the front door and can hear the bus coming we only have 3 seconds to get in the car. Not a pretty sight!
Spaghettios and Organic Yogurt
I think it may be illegal to put those two things in a lunch box together. If not illegal, the "Healthy Food Gods" are definitely frowning upon me. Ahh, well...at least I know D will eat her lunch tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"No, I love you more!"
Random conversations, statements and monkeyism's of the week:
Adam: "Um, D how did you get on the changing table?"
D: "I climbed!"
For lack of better words...DUH!
Me: "D do you want a smoothie?"
Delaney: "No! I don't want a squishy!"
Interesting translation...
D: "What am I doing?"
Me as I am turning to look "I don't know, what are you doing?"
Me: "OH GOD! YOU ARE PEEING ON THE COUCH!"
D: "Oh!"
She really needs to learn the potty dance so I can be forewarned of these things!
D on the toilet: "Uh oh, Mommy! I have to wipe my angina!"
Another interesting translation...
Me: "D we are going to go see J and the baby."
D: "The baby is going to lick me!"
Hmm.. apparently her interaction with babies has been much different than my own..
Pointing to a mole on my face D says "Look Mommy, it's your nipple!"
5 Very important things D learned this week: 1. To raise the roof (Thanks, Daddy!) 2. That going potty is more fun with a book. 3. That the bathroom has awesome acoustics (We got fantastic video of her singing in the bathroom this week!) 4. That snuggling is the best! 5. That she likes ground black pepper...A LOT!
My favorite moment this week? As I was putting D to bed one night I said "Goodnight, I love you!" and D grabbed my face between her two little hands and pulled my face to hers and said "No, I love you more!". Oh little girl, if you only knew just how much I love you. You make more possible everyday.....
Adam: "Um, D how did you get on the changing table?"
D: "I climbed!"
For lack of better words...DUH!
Me: "D do you want a smoothie?"
Delaney: "No! I don't want a squishy!"
Interesting translation...
D: "What am I doing?"
Me as I am turning to look "I don't know, what are you doing?"
Me: "OH GOD! YOU ARE PEEING ON THE COUCH!"
D: "Oh!"
She really needs to learn the potty dance so I can be forewarned of these things!
D on the toilet: "Uh oh, Mommy! I have to wipe my angina!"
Another interesting translation...
Me: "D we are going to go see J and the baby."
D: "The baby is going to lick me!"
Hmm.. apparently her interaction with babies has been much different than my own..
Pointing to a mole on my face D says "Look Mommy, it's your nipple!"
5 Very important things D learned this week: 1. To raise the roof (Thanks, Daddy!) 2. That going potty is more fun with a book. 3. That the bathroom has awesome acoustics (We got fantastic video of her singing in the bathroom this week!) 4. That snuggling is the best! 5. That she likes ground black pepper...A LOT!
My favorite moment this week? As I was putting D to bed one night I said "Goodnight, I love you!" and D grabbed my face between her two little hands and pulled my face to hers and said "No, I love you more!". Oh little girl, if you only knew just how much I love you. You make more possible everyday.....
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Old McDonald's
Alright, I can hear some of you right now "You take D to McDonald's?! Ewww!". Well stop your judging right now! Picking D up from daycare is an 80 minute round trip for me, so we make some sacrifices. Plus if I didn't go I wouldn't have this funny story to share, so read on...
Tonight was our first time visiting a McD's Play Land (PL from here on out). What an adventure!
Short story
I learned that a mother/daughter trip to McDonald's Play Land = a fattening dinner, a vomit-inducing experience, humiliation and one very happy 2 year old.
Long Story
We arrive at "Old McDonald's" (yes, that is what D calls it), stride past the food counter and straight in to PL. Upon entering I learn that PL is a freezing cold, plastic monstrosity that is probably a breeding ground for germs we don't even know exist. BLEH! But, like a true American mom, I take off her shoes and send her in. We were the only ones there so D was crawling around, waving and calling to me. Super cute! Then I hear "CRUNCH!". Me- "D what was that?" "CRUNCH!" Then her little head peeks around the tunnel corner and in her hand I see a fistful of french fries. AHHH!?!? Remember the part where we strode past the food counter! Those are not her french fries! "Delaney, drop the french fries they are dirty!" D- "CRUNCH!", followed by a huge grin. Ugh! Don't mind Mommy she is just dry heaving!
You know what happens next right? I HAVE TO CLIMB IN THE TUNNEL! Did I mention I came from work? Or that my pants today were a little tighter than I prefer? Seriously, it was like stuffing a sausage. Enough said...
For those of you who are wondering, I did retrieve D and the french fries. My best estimate would be that they were about a week old. .........there goes that dry heaving again!
We went on to have a fab mother/daughter dinner, once we got out of the PL. To top it all of, when she went to bed tonight D said "I love you Mommy, thank you for taking me to see Old McDonald". All is right with the world, well except that I will never get the image of her shoving those crusty old fries in her mouth out of my head (shudder). Next time we are eating in the car!
P.S.: Click on the highlighted words, they are links people!
Tonight was our first time visiting a McD's Play Land (PL from here on out). What an adventure!
Short story
I learned that a mother/daughter trip to McDonald's Play Land = a fattening dinner, a vomit-inducing experience, humiliation and one very happy 2 year old.
Long Story
We arrive at "Old McDonald's" (yes, that is what D calls it), stride past the food counter and straight in to PL. Upon entering I learn that PL is a freezing cold, plastic monstrosity that is probably a breeding ground for germs we don't even know exist. BLEH! But, like a true American mom, I take off her shoes and send her in. We were the only ones there so D was crawling around, waving and calling to me. Super cute! Then I hear "CRUNCH!". Me- "D what was that?" "CRUNCH!" Then her little head peeks around the tunnel corner and in her hand I see a fistful of french fries. AHHH!?!? Remember the part where we strode past the food counter! Those are not her french fries! "Delaney, drop the french fries they are dirty!" D- "CRUNCH!", followed by a huge grin. Ugh! Don't mind Mommy she is just dry heaving!
You know what happens next right? I HAVE TO CLIMB IN THE TUNNEL! Did I mention I came from work? Or that my pants today were a little tighter than I prefer? Seriously, it was like stuffing a sausage. Enough said...
For those of you who are wondering, I did retrieve D and the french fries. My best estimate would be that they were about a week old. .........there goes that dry heaving again!
We went on to have a fab mother/daughter dinner, once we got out of the PL. To top it all of, when she went to bed tonight D said "I love you Mommy, thank you for taking me to see Old McDonald". All is right with the world, well except that I will never get the image of her shoving those crusty old fries in her mouth out of my head (shudder). Next time we are eating in the car!
P.S.: Click on the highlighted words, they are links people!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Fashionista
Seriously (see there is that word again!) how did I create such a 2 year old fashionista? She has very specific ideas about what she is going to wear or better said what she is NOT going to wear. This fashionista-mindset has made getting out of the house a bit painful.
This morning Adam was getting Delaney dressed for our trip to the aquarium and this is the conversation I heard from the other room..
"Delaney, you have to wear pants!"
"No, I don't want them!"
"Why not?"
"They don't fit!" ( I had chosen a perfectly well (and cute) fitting pair of jeans for her.)
This was followed by Delaney running in to the living room, pants around her knees screaming "I don't want these pants, I want the pink ones!"
Mommy to the rescue......
Trying to get out the door, I get the pink ones out. Can you guess what happens??
"No, I don't want the pink ones they don't match!" (She was right, they were a little off!)
"How about the gray ones!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" followed by desperate wailing and giant tears.
Oh boy.....count to 10.....
.... but wait we also had to have a discussion over the coat she was wearing, what barrette was going in her hair and the exact placement of the zipper on her jacket. Final result- gray pants, striped shirt, gray sweatshirt (only zipped 3/4 of the way), pink ponytail and green barrette (that required a wrestling move to get in). Cute? Absolutely, I even think I caught the hippos at the aquarium admiring her!
Now if I could just find something to match my gray hairs.....
This morning Adam was getting Delaney dressed for our trip to the aquarium and this is the conversation I heard from the other room..
"Delaney, you have to wear pants!"
"No, I don't want them!"
"Why not?"
"They don't fit!" ( I had chosen a perfectly well (and cute) fitting pair of jeans for her.)
This was followed by Delaney running in to the living room, pants around her knees screaming "I don't want these pants, I want the pink ones!"
Mommy to the rescue......
Trying to get out the door, I get the pink ones out. Can you guess what happens??
"No, I don't want the pink ones they don't match!" (She was right, they were a little off!)
"How about the gray ones!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" followed by desperate wailing and giant tears.
Oh boy.....count to 10.....
.... but wait we also had to have a discussion over the coat she was wearing, what barrette was going in her hair and the exact placement of the zipper on her jacket. Final result- gray pants, striped shirt, gray sweatshirt (only zipped 3/4 of the way), pink ponytail and green barrette (that required a wrestling move to get in). Cute? Absolutely, I even think I caught the hippos at the aquarium admiring her!
Now if I could just find something to match my gray hairs.....
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Out of the mouth of monkey...
The following is a collection of Delaneyisms from this weeks snow days. Enjoy!
-Sitting on the potty, Delaney points to mole on her belly and say "Look Mommy! It's my nipple! Let me see your nipples!"
-I ask Delaney if she wants to go out in the snow, to which she responds "No, its too cold. I just a little girl. It's too cold for little girls."
-Sitting at the dinner table and Michael Jackson comes on the radio.... "Mommy! You better tell Michael Jackson to get out here and eat dinner!".
-In our attempts to get rid of the pacifier Delaney may only have it when she goes to bed. She is constantly trying to get her hands on one during the day..."I want binky!" "You are a big girl, what do you need binky for?" "MY MOUTH!".
-2 yr. old speech= "Sleeping Booty" instead of Sleeping Beauty
-In response to me singing along with the car radio, "Shhh Mommy! I sleeping!". Hmm... nice way to tell me to be quiet kiddo!
-Delaney ate green watercolor paint and an eye-opening diaper experience ensued. I will spare the details, but can tell you that if you ask Delaney what happens when you eat green paint she responds "GREEN POOP!" quite proudly.
-Always the sharer and having recently discovered nose picking Delaney sticks her finger in her nose, pulls it out and says "Here Mommy, want some?". Following my reaction I am not sure she will ever share with me again.
AND MY FAVORITE..........
-Always the studious 2 yr. old, I found Delaney in the bathroom "reading" Adam's copy of the Constitution (yes, we own a pocket-sized copy of the Constitution!). Her father was so proud!
-Sitting on the potty, Delaney points to mole on her belly and say "Look Mommy! It's my nipple! Let me see your nipples!"
-I ask Delaney if she wants to go out in the snow, to which she responds "No, its too cold. I just a little girl. It's too cold for little girls."
-Sitting at the dinner table and Michael Jackson comes on the radio.... "Mommy! You better tell Michael Jackson to get out here and eat dinner!".
-In our attempts to get rid of the pacifier Delaney may only have it when she goes to bed. She is constantly trying to get her hands on one during the day..."I want binky!" "You are a big girl, what do you need binky for?" "MY MOUTH!".
-2 yr. old speech= "Sleeping Booty" instead of Sleeping Beauty
-In response to me singing along with the car radio, "Shhh Mommy! I sleeping!". Hmm... nice way to tell me to be quiet kiddo!
-Delaney ate green watercolor paint and an eye-opening diaper experience ensued. I will spare the details, but can tell you that if you ask Delaney what happens when you eat green paint she responds "GREEN POOP!" quite proudly.
-Always the sharer and having recently discovered nose picking Delaney sticks her finger in her nose, pulls it out and says "Here Mommy, want some?". Following my reaction I am not sure she will ever share with me again.
AND MY FAVORITE..........
-Always the studious 2 yr. old, I found Delaney in the bathroom "reading" Adam's copy of the Constitution (yes, we own a pocket-sized copy of the Constitution!). Her father was so proud!
Big girls do cry...
I am not embarrassed to admit I am a crier. Birth, death, marriage, life in general makes me cry. It just makes me feel better. However, nothing prepared me for the many reasons I would cry as a parent. Here's a short list: adoration, frustration, defeat, humiliation, embarrassment, love, fear, anger, happiness. I could list hundreds more, but there is breakfast to be made.
I think I experienced at least five of these yesterday, particularly defeat. Luckily today is a new day and I already cried this morning. Why? Because monkey asked me to paint her fingernails pink and when I was done she said "Thank you, Mommy! I love them the most". Maybe I should add lunacy to the list?
I think I experienced at least five of these yesterday, particularly defeat. Luckily today is a new day and I already cried this morning. Why? Because monkey asked me to paint her fingernails pink and when I was done she said "Thank you, Mommy! I love them the most". Maybe I should add lunacy to the list?
Sunday, January 23, 2011
One fence climbing dog and a missing barrette
Wow! What a day! We woke up this morning and decided to head to Delaware Children's Museum, one of our favorite indoor activities. Great plan, right? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Nah, in all honesty it was a great plan. Just some bumps in the road to getting there. As we were about to leave we discovered that LWD (little white dog a.k.a. Chloe) was missing. Yup, once again she decided to climb the fence and go on an adventure around the neighborhood. Pretty sure my neighbors cringe every time they have to hear me bellowing "CCCHHHLLLLOOOOEEEE! CCCHHHLLLLOOOOEEEE! Where are you?" out the front door. But, seriously the dog CLIMBS the fence?!? Adam ended up having to go hunting for her. Lucky dog because I was going to let her spend the day with nature....
We finally make it out the door, after an argument with our future fashionista over her pants ("THEY TOO BIG!") and her coat ("NO I DON'T WANT THIS ONE!") and were on our way....kind of... About 2 blocks away from our house D starts making a choking noise in the backseat. I turn around and she has her fingers shoved down her throat and no barrette in her hair. Uh oh! Where did the barrette go? And the dialogue is as follows:
"Delaney, where is your barrette?"
"I threw it in the toy basket" (sitting on the car seat)
"It's in the basket?"
"No, I ate it!"
"You ate the barrette?!? Is it in your belly?"
"Yes!"
Adam and I look at each other in bewilderment. Did she really eat it? Does she understand what I am talking about? Deep breathe, count to 10 and try again...
"Delaney, did you put the barrette in your mouth and eat it like food?"
"No!"
"Did aliens swoop down and steal your barrette?"
"Yes! Aliens eat my barrette!"
"The aliens ate your barrette?"
"No, Delaney eat the barrette!"
"You ate it?!?"
"No!"
Great, now we have no clue where the barrette is. We searched the car and no barrette. No more choking though and D seemed fine, so off to DCM we go.....
Several hours and a great trip to DCM later, still no barrette. Here's hoping the aliens bring it back, we lose those things all the time!
Nah, in all honesty it was a great plan. Just some bumps in the road to getting there. As we were about to leave we discovered that LWD (little white dog a.k.a. Chloe) was missing. Yup, once again she decided to climb the fence and go on an adventure around the neighborhood. Pretty sure my neighbors cringe every time they have to hear me bellowing "CCCHHHLLLLOOOOEEEE! CCCHHHLLLLOOOOEEEE! Where are you?" out the front door. But, seriously the dog CLIMBS the fence?!? Adam ended up having to go hunting for her. Lucky dog because I was going to let her spend the day with nature....
We finally make it out the door, after an argument with our future fashionista over her pants ("THEY TOO BIG!") and her coat ("NO I DON'T WANT THIS ONE!") and were on our way....kind of... About 2 blocks away from our house D starts making a choking noise in the backseat. I turn around and she has her fingers shoved down her throat and no barrette in her hair. Uh oh! Where did the barrette go? And the dialogue is as follows:
"Delaney, where is your barrette?"
"I threw it in the toy basket" (sitting on the car seat)
"It's in the basket?"
"No, I ate it!"
"You ate the barrette?!? Is it in your belly?"
"Yes!"
Adam and I look at each other in bewilderment. Did she really eat it? Does she understand what I am talking about? Deep breathe, count to 10 and try again...
"Delaney, did you put the barrette in your mouth and eat it like food?"
"No!"
"Did aliens swoop down and steal your barrette?"
"Yes! Aliens eat my barrette!"
"The aliens ate your barrette?"
"No, Delaney eat the barrette!"
"You ate it?!?"
"No!"
Great, now we have no clue where the barrette is. We searched the car and no barrette. No more choking though and D seemed fine, so off to DCM we go.....
Several hours and a great trip to DCM later, still no barrette. Here's hoping the aliens bring it back, we lose those things all the time!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Today's word, boys and girls, is SERIOUSLY.
So I am wondering how many times a day I use the word seriously or some derivative. If I had to guess I would say at least 20 times a day. It's one of those words that perfectly fits every situation, for example "Seriously, did you just put that pencil up your nose?", "Are you serious?", "Stop laughing, I am being very serious!" or my favorite just "SERIOUSLY?!?!" Seriously, I love this word! It expresses exactly what I am thinking at all times! If you have never tried it, just listen to how well it works. Alright, I will give you a minute, go ahead and say it out loud, throw it in a sentence, put it before your child's name (Seriously, Delaney!?). You love it don't you? It's addictive isn't it? Still don't believe me? Seriously, here is an example...
I was going to count how many times I use this word tomorrow, but I seriously think we are going to have a snow day. Guess it will wait until Monday! I will keep you posted.
P.S. 9 Followers?! Remember, ladies and gentleman, when the time comes DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID! Although, it will probably be spiked with tequila....no seriously...it will...
Serious count for this post: 10
I was going to count how many times I use this word tomorrow, but I seriously think we are going to have a snow day. Guess it will wait until Monday! I will keep you posted.
P.S. 9 Followers?! Remember, ladies and gentleman, when the time comes DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID! Although, it will probably be spiked with tequila....no seriously...it will...
Serious count for this post: 10
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
A Snow Day in the Life...
If you are not a teacher , you may not know that the people who most look forward to snow days are TEACHERS, not students. I slept off and on last night- in between checking my school's website for the words "Schools are CLOSED for 10 month staff and students." encased in a bright red box under the masthead. At 5:22 AM my wish was granted and I discovered I hadn't turned my pj's inside out for nothing. Hooray!
Not wanting to waste the day I decided today would be a potty training day. That could ( and probably will) be a post in and of itself. Delaney is constantly giving me a rundown of all things bathroom-related so I figured we would give it a try. After a 5 minute discussion on underwear, who wears them and why she finally was off and running. 2 hours and several failed attempts later D peed on the living room floor. Break out the Resolve and new undies. Following a diapered nap, she peed on me and the couch. Why no rubber pants you ask? I thought I was above them ......my line of thinking has changed.
We did dance to Beyonce and Avril Lavigne (Just Dance 2 for Wii), have a tea party, paint and watch Sleeping Beauty. Oh, and Delaney learned how to use chapstick (its great for mohawks) and perfected her evil laugh (Bwah, ha, ha, ha!). So, thank you Snow Gods for giving me this day with my monkey!
P.S. 7 followers!? Woo! Hoo!
Not wanting to waste the day I decided today would be a potty training day. That could ( and probably will) be a post in and of itself. Delaney is constantly giving me a rundown of all things bathroom-related so I figured we would give it a try. After a 5 minute discussion on underwear, who wears them and why she finally was off and running. 2 hours and several failed attempts later D peed on the living room floor. Break out the Resolve and new undies. Following a diapered nap, she peed on me and the couch. Why no rubber pants you ask? I thought I was above them ......my line of thinking has changed.
We did dance to Beyonce and Avril Lavigne (Just Dance 2 for Wii), have a tea party, paint and watch Sleeping Beauty. Oh, and Delaney learned how to use chapstick (its great for mohawks) and perfected her evil laugh (Bwah, ha, ha, ha!). So, thank you Snow Gods for giving me this day with my monkey!
P.S. 7 followers!? Woo! Hoo!
Stay tuned...
....I have finally made it to the blogging world. I am sure many will be happy as they will no longer receive my daily emails with what I consider to be funny tidbits of my life. Instead, I will put it here and require that you visit the blog if you want your laugh. Stay tuned...
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