Round 2

I was one of those people who swore I would never use the term "terrible two's".  What loving parent uses the word terrible to describe anything regarding their children, right?  WRONG!  The term is real and applies to my two year old.  It is not D who is terrible (she is my wonderful, amazing child) but the behavior of the age two is TERRIBLE!

We encountered the crying, tantrums and headstrong behavior of the two's early on right before D turned two and for about two months afterwards.  Since then, its been pretty smooth sailing....well besides the dime swallowing..... No parenting book tells you there is a lull in the terrible two's- this beautiful stage where you think it's safe to take your child out to eat and where if you ask them to pick up their toys their head won't spin around in an exorcist-type of rage. 

Then 2 3/4's rears its ugly head and what returns is the terrible two's in a child with a better vocabulary skills, improved negotiation techniques and an understanding of manipulation.  And she has a list of demands....At last count, she started 4 out of 5 sentences with "I want...."

For your amusement, here are a few examples....

While dealing with a tantrum I stop and count to 10 in my head.  There is a pause in the tantruming and Delaney asks "Mommy what are you doing?" Me: "Counting to 10.".  Delaney:  "I can count to 10 too!" Me: "I know honey, but we do it for different reasons."

Delaney at 8 PM: "I WANT JUICE!"
Me: "I would be happy to give you a drink of milk before bed when you can use your manners!"
Delaney: "I WANT JUICE NOW!"
Me: "Try again!"
Delaney (in her sweetest voice): "Please may I have a drink of milk, Mommy!"
Me: "Sure!" 
As I pull the milk out of the fridge, what happens??  Delaney throws herself to the floor and screams: "NO! NO! NO! I WANT JUICE!".  
Back to square 1.

Delaney in Negotiation Mode: "Can I have a milkshake?"  (Yup! Mom of the Year over here let her have a milkshake one time and has yet to live it down.)
Me: "No, milkshakes are just for sometimes we don't have them everyday."
Delaney: "Can I have a milkshake now."
Me: "No, you may not."
Delaney: "Can I have a milkshake now?"
Me: "No, dinner is in a few minutes and we will all eat then."
Delaney: "I want a milkshake for dinner!"
Me: "Yes, honey we all do."

Fortunately, the glimpses of my bright, sweet little girl are becoming more frequent and for that I am thankful. 

Things I Never Expected to Hear (or Answer) #932

1.  "Mommy, is their poop in my dime?"  Unfortunately, the answer was no.  Still no dime, 2 nickels or 10 pennies.  The human piggy bank refuses to give them up.

2.  D: "Mommy, why is Daddy naked? Why is that guy naked? Why is you naked?"  
Me: "None of those people or naked.  Daddy and the other man have their shirts off.  Mommy is wearing a bathing suit (and its a mom suit so it covers everything) and that is what people wear on the beach."

3. "AHHH! Chloe is turning brown!"  Uh, no.  The dog has brown spots.

 4.  "What does the pink light mean?" In reference to the stop light. She wasn't taking there is no such thing as an answer so I responded "It means beep the horn."  Unfortunately that led to horn beeping (for imaginary pink lights).

5.  "The bird pooped in the bathroom!!"  Nice guess, but that is just toothpaste in the sink.


6.  Me: "What shoes do you want to wear today?"
D:  "Hmm... I think I'll rock my crocs."

7.  My 2 1/2 yr. old BELTING out Katy Perry "Firework" from the backseat and then asking "Can we listen to Bob Marley next?".