Manners and Imagination

Monkey: "No thank you, Mommy.  I don't want to go to the doctor's today.  Tell Dr. Epstein I see him another day."

Me: "Sorry, sweetie but we have to."

Monkey:  "Mommy, I give you money to go to the doctor and I stay here with Chloe.  Does that sound like a good idea?". 

Me: "No, we still have to go."

Monkey: "I think I go hide in my bedroom now."

Luckily, I know where that is.....

"I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! " (sung to the tune of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand")

Monkey: "Mommy, I'm gonna squeeze your barrettes!"
Me: "What??"
Monkey: "Your barrettes!" followed by two firm squeezes of....you guessed it....my breasts!

Once again, teaching the proper terminology has bit me in the behind (that's the word we use at my house) AGAIN!    The squeezing part, well, I am not sure where that came from!

Good Morning!

Mornings at the G house are usually crazy.  I always joke with the neighbor that I must look like a total lunatic when leaving the house in the morning.  Now, I have decided to write about it.  Here's a look into the typical departure from the G house...

1.  I am usually running late (well, what I consider late since I  like to get to work 45 minutes early).

2.  I refuse to make more than one trip from the house to the car.  This means I carry approximately 22.3 bags of crap (this equals 11.15 bags on each arm) from the house to the car while trying to convince a 2 year old with no sense of urgency to walk to the car. "No, Mommy is not carrying you today." "Please don't run down the street."  "Ahh!  Why are you taking your shoes off!"  

3.  Every time we open the front door the dog tries to run out.  So when the door is open you have to strategically place yourself between the storm and screen door so the dog cannot escape.  And if she does escape yelling and cursing ensues.  Imagine trying to cover your 2 year old's ears while carrying those 22.3 bags of crap!

4.  Our driveway is on an incline.  So, one misstep and you and/or your child and/or your 22.3 bags of crap could roll down the hill at any time.  All 3 happened once, but I prefer to not talk about that day.  

5.  There is a bus stop at our corner.  If I get stuck behind the bus it puts me at least 5 minutes behind.  If I open the front door and can hear the bus coming we only have 3 seconds to get in the car.  Not a pretty sight!

Spaghettios and Organic Yogurt

I think it may be illegal to put those two things in a lunch box together.  If not illegal, the "Healthy Food Gods"  are definitely frowning upon me.  Ahh, well...at least I know D will eat her lunch tomorrow.