Thursday, June 28, 2012

Car Carts and Bumper Stickers

My 3 1/2 year old has the memory of an elephant, hence the nickname "Rainman".  Don't judge, it's funny.  At least until she uses that memory against me by saying things like "Remember that time you said the bad words at Daddy?", "Remember the time you sang the song about heiny's?", "Remember the time you promised I could ride in the car cart at Acme?".  Trying to deny any memory of these things doesn't work with Rainman, you have to acquiesce and accept the consequences.

I graciously apologized for the bad words and set parameters for the heiny song (you may only sing it in the bathtub) but damn I cannot own up to promising that car cart ride.

  Hate doesn't even begin to describe my feelings towards these things.  I LOATHE them.  They rank right up there with Taylor Swift, Corona and the smell of patchouli.  I want to find the person who invented them and continuously run them over with its tiny wheels while they listen to kids screaming out grocery store-related demands. "I WANT CUPCAKES!  I WANT ICE CREAM!"

Who made these things?  Some sadistic engineer who wants to simultaneously introduce children to every germ possible while completely embarrassing the driver because of its lack of steering?  They need to come spend the day navigating these freaking unwieldy things down the narrow aisles of a store. 

Seriously, it's a shopping cart, why must it be fun? It's a given your kids are going to act up at the grocery store.  We all do. Its a grocery store, not freaking Chuckie Cheese!  The only kids that sit quietly in the cart are sedated or stuffed full of the M&M's their incredibly smart parent remembered to pack to head of the temper tantrum of the year.  Can't you just let us get through the trip with false threats and bribes instead of making an already crappy errand synonymous with stabbing yourself in the eye with a hot poker!?! Grrrr!

And while I am letting it all out, let me also gripe about the person who created bumper stickers.  I truly am so proud of your honor roll kid, sad grandma died and excited you are an evolutionist but I am not happy with your need to share what's at home in the toy box publicly...

Can't make out the classy gem on this pickup truck?  It reads "My Other Toy Has Tits"  Nice, huh?  The scripted font really sets off the word "tits". 

Let's all be thankful Rainman didn't get wind of this one.  I can hear it now "Remember the time we saw that car with the word tits?".   We are doing nothing educational this summer just so I can ensure she won't be reading that nonsense anytime soon! 

What are your thoughts on car carts and classy bumper stickers? I know you have some.....

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  1. My pet peeve are those people with trucks that have the blue balls hanging off the hitch. My kids saw that at the beach last summer and wanted to know what in the world that was. Kills me!

    I also hate car carts. Luckily, my kids have *mostly* outgrown them, but for a long time they stayed mad at me for not letting them ride. They won't steer for anything!

    1. Oh! I hate those too! Way to take a gross piece of anatomy and put it on display!

  2. Those carts are the worst, as you may have seen in my post "Burst Your Bubble":

  3. I had not read your post, too funny that we were both griping on car carts! They really are the worst!!