Sunday, June 10, 2012

"Life's a sport, drink it up!"

I recently read an article about a group of newly graduated high school seniors arrested for concealing alcohol in Gatorade bottles while celebrating "Senior Week" at the local beach.  Their attempt to avoid open container laws was appalling to the author but I found it a bit inspiring.   GASP!  That's right- law abiding, rule following, non-jaywalking Monkey Momma wants to hide alcohol in a Gatorade bottle and chug it like a college freshman at their first keg party.  What brought on such a radical thought?  A family trip to the beach.

Like a caravan making its way across the Sahara, we decided to venture to the beach this weekend with a 3 year old and 3 month old in tow.

If this picture could talk it would be a 3year old screeching,"The sand is hot!" after insisting she did not need her shoes. 

We arrived at our sandy destination prepared for diaper explosions, wardrobe malfunctions, boredom, hunger, general discomfort ranging from sand irritation to cold ocean water, hair styling, photo-ops, vomit, bugs and sun exposure. We also brought along various things to sit on or in, a surfboard and two alternative water sources.  Did you notice I said "surfboard"? That's right, Miller gets to escape the mayhem while I play sand remover, entertainer and waitress. Motherhood is a hobby, right?

Some may argue that I am spoiling my children by bringing all this crap to the beach but truthfully I don't want them to cry and for everyone to look at me. I can't handle that on top of trying to keep sand off of me and suck in my belly.  

This kids got nothing on how ugly it could get if we don't bring the kiddie pool, 32 barbies and the portable shower to the beach. 

An hour into the trip, which involved bouts of screaming by each member of the family,  we waved the white flag of defeat and packed it in.  With promises of a new pool to play in at the house D begrudgingly got in the car.

Talk about a lucky kid, I proudly got her a new blue pool which I boasted would be "AWESOME!".  We got home and Miller blew it up.  


Hmm, since we weren't planning on doing backyard circus dives this was the ultimate back fire.


An hour, lots of tears and a new pool later D and I put our feet up and lounged in our beach house paradise....while I chugged a Gatorade Senior- Week style.  We will try the beach again next week.




Its been a few weeks, but I am back to hang out at yeahwrite.



16 comments:

  1. Haha! This is so flashback-inducing and true. Can't imagine why I no longer find the beach relaxing.

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    1. Chaotic would definitely be a better way to describe it!

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  2. LOVE the pool AND the post. I've got a little somethin-somethin' hidden away in my Diet Coke bottle as I type...heh, heh!

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    1. Concealing alcohol in a non-alcohol container makes it that much more delicious!

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  3. Hahaha! I laugh, but secretly your post also terrifies me for my future!

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    1. Just be sure to have the alcohol ready, much like ice cream or chocolate its a cure-all!

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  4. Oh man, I haven't been to the beach in ages! With 3 kids, I don't know if I can handle it. Plus I hate the sun anyway. I have no idea how people can like sunbathing. Seriously? Why not just hang a sign that says, "I want skin cancer!" around their necks?

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  5. Haha, this was great!
    You had me laughing at your descriptions, and considering my own senior-week gatorade. :-)

    I especially laughed when you said you had to tackle so many other tasks (so the kids don't cry) AND suck you stomach in... like you read my mind.
    Also, what's up with that little pool?!? I'm glad you got that figured out.
    This was a fun read! Thanks!

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    1. Thanks, Dawn! Sucking it in requires concentration so I have to make sure my kids are entertained!

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  6. I thought I was looking forward to the beach this summer...now Im not too sure! :) lol

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    1. May I suggest you stock up on Gatorade?

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  7. That was hysterical! You're really brave, taking a three month old to the beach. My younger two kids have never been and they're 8 and 6. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that our Irish ancestory didn't equip us for long periods of sun exposure. We've stuck to lake beaches so far, where we can retreat to the woods to cool off. I like the Gatorade idea!

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  8. Love your account of the family beach trip, and the lengths we'll go to to not cause a scene! :) I'm right there with ya!

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  9. I so sympathize with this. I have taken my child repeatedly to the beach, and out on boats, simply because where we live we are surrounded by water on three sides. Most of the time it has been great, occasionally it has been miserable. Good luck on your next foray!

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  10. This reminds me of the last year I had to do the whole trick-or-treat thing. I went with a group of friends and their kids that time. We all disguised mixed drinks in to-go coffee cups. If I had known all those years that was the way to do it I would have had a lot more fun with Halloween.

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