Wednesday, April 4, 2012

...and I'm back...

The MonkeyMomma household grew by one on March 9th when we welcomed Sydney Marie.  For our family this means a little less sleep, lots of diapers, a general state of controlled chaos and a lot more love in our house.  Lucky for you this means more blog material.   For those of you whom feel obligated to read because we are related and/or  because I send you the link and will ask you if you read I apologize in advance.  However, please note, I  have no plans to release you from your reading responsibilities and expect to discuss this post at length at during our next conversation (don't worry I will call you!).

My nightstand is littered with pieces of paper capturing funny things that have happened during the day.  Not blogging for a few months means the nightstand looks a bit more like the desk of Taylor Swift trying to write a decent song.  Here are a few of my favorites.  

Proof that 3 year olds have all the answers
 Me: D you have your shoes on the wrong feet.
 D (very exasperated): Mom, I know!  I want to walk like a duck today!

A strange and impossible injury
Delaney comes home from school with a note that says she is complaining about hurting her "berhind"  (Not a typo, Delaney is insistent that "behind" has an r.) When I ask her what is wrong she says "Mommy, my berhind really hurts! I put my knee in it at naptime".  Huh?!?  Maybe there should be a little more supervision at naptime because my child was performing some contortionist-type acts and I think a spotter is required.

Another reason I see akward parent/teacher conferences in my future.
Delaney shares with us that she went to time out at school and when asked why she responded, "I couldn't pick up the toys because I was having contractions." I bet her teachers had the same look on their face as the pizza delivery guy did that time she opened the door naked....

One big boost of self-esteem
D steps on the scale in the bathroom and I tell her she weighs 30 pounds.  Sweetly she asks "Mommy do you weigh 30 pounds?".  I respond "No, I weigh a little more than that."  She looks at me for a minute and says "Is it because you have a fat belly?".
Note: I was not pregnant at the time of this conversation  

A failed lesson
I overheard D playing with two dolls and talking about one of them being "dead".  This really bothered me and I stopped her and explained this was not a nice way to play.  I should have stopped there, but why would I do that?  I  asked if she knew what "dead" meant and she said no but they say it on "The Muppets" (yes, we force our child to watch shows we loved as children).  Then she asks "What does it mean, Mommy?".   Okay, time to step up and teach a life lesson.  The conversation went like this:

Me: "When something is dead its not here anymore."
D: "Oh, so my Daddy is dead!"
Me: "What?!? No!?!?  He is at the store and will be back in a few minutes! When someone is dead they are not here anymore and we won't see them ever again."
D: "So when he comes back he won't be dead anymore?"
Me: "No, he is not dead! Please don't say that."
D: "Can I go play now?"
And leave me to figure out how to fix the mess I just made?  Yes, please do!  

Now I know why my Mom bought us books about every life event- death, sex, puberty- it's much easier to explain things with pictures.

Big sister thoughts
Many people have asked what Delaney things of being a big sister and honestly she appears to love it!  She has been the sweetest, most loving big sister ever since she arrived.  She has also had some funny observations and comments about Syd.  Here are a few:

- "When is Sydney going to stop looking like a boy?"
-"Mom!  Her cheek is leaking!"- a comment made after Sydney spit up.
-"Please don't play baby music for Sydney.  She only likes Michael Jackson!"
-"Mmm! Sydney smells good!"  What does she smell like? "Skin!"

Welcome back, my friends!  It won't be so long before I strike again- I promise!

P.S.  Check out this blog written by a friend of ours, he has some great stories but this particular one details a conversation between him and Adam about a week before Sydney's arrival.  


  1. I love Delaney! Thanks for writing, I've missed it and the laughs!


  2. "I want to walk like a duck today!" What a great response! I wish I still had that kind of confidence. This was so funny!