You are a good mother! Your children will be happy, healthy, successful adults! This is the mantra I must sometimes repeat in my head and by sometimes I mean no less than 372 times a day. Before becoming a parent I had never felt such self-doubt about my abilities, actions or decisions. Now, I feel this on a daily basis. Worrying about what everyone from family to people I pass on the street think of my parenting ability has put me on an uphill climb towards the holy land known as "mothering perfection". Is there truly any such thing? Here's a glimpse of a few things I worry about...
Health- Who saw me carrying that Happy Meal in my house?
Does D's preschool teacher think her lunch is healthy and well-balanced? Do I get extra points for her heart-shaped sandwich?
Should I call the pediatrician about that rash or will I become that annoying parent who calls about everything? Is it even a rash?
Appearance- Do people wonder why D's hair is never brushed? Do they understand I literally cannot brush the kids hair unless she is asleep.
Yes, D is wearing bunny ears, a nightgown and rain boots but everyone knows I let her pick out her own clothes today, right?
Can anyone see that pinhole- sized formula stain on S's onesie?
Behavior- Do others think they my children are smart, respectful, funny and kind? If not, why?
Should D be able to write her name, put on her socks, wipe her bottom at age 3? Do people wonder why I haven't taught her these things?
Why hasn't S met every 1 month milestone in the What to Expect the First Year? Am I giving up quality time with her to sleep 4-5 hours a night?
General Craziness- Does that lady in the checkout line next to me think I am cheap because I am buying store-brand formula? And or is she disappointed in me because I don't breastfeed?
Should I really get a sitter? Will people think I am pawning my kids off on to someone else so I can drink beer and eat nachos with fellow adults once every 3 months?
Should I have skipped my shower today for that extra 20 minutes with my girls?
After reading this you may be thinking "Who cares what everyone else thinks? How petty and insecure of you, MonkeyMomma!" and/ or "Wow! MonkeyMomma is a little crazy and would probably benefit from some meds." Excellent psychoanalysis and you are probably right. That aside, I pour my heart and soul into the role of mommy and am not ashamed to admit that I occasionally need validation. I am fortunate to have an amazing husband and two sweet girls who show me everyday how much they love and appreciate me (and vice versa). But, that silly, uncertain part of me is waiting for others to say "Yes! You are amazing!". So while I wait for that pat on the back from the outside world to confirm that my kids are turning out okay I'm going to go hug my little ones. You know, the ones who are still confident enough to not care what anyone else thinks.
This week I am linking up to my new addiction, a site called yeah write which showcases bloggers. Check out the great posts and vote for your favorites!