Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Pee me a river

I have no complaints about potty training.  It has been a smooth, easy process in our house.   I mean of course I knew there would be some accidents but today there was an accident of epic proportions.

We are in Barnes and Nobles Children's section looking at books and having a great time.  Delaney starts to play on the storytime stage with a few other children.  She is having a great time singing and dancing and then I hear it- the gasp of the snooty mom in a scarf (seriously?!? the heat index was 102 today, lady!) pushing the $500 stroller.  I slowly follow her evil eye to Delaney and AHHHH!  Delaney is standing in the middle of the stage peeing a river.  Uh oh!  I run to her and try to  convince her to stop- no luck (are you surprised? I mean really who stops in the middle of peeing?) .  Then I just wait it out as "scarf and friends" stare at us whispering in dismay.  No offer of help, no sympathetic looks.  I mean really, could I get a tissue or something? Once she is done I scoop Delaney up and haul her off to the car before I get into a mom fight with "scarf and friends".  On our way out I kindly stop at the information desk and let them know there was a "small potty accident on the storytime stage".  I didn't tell them they would probably need a wet vac and scuba gear, but that's a minor detail.  I trudge across the parking lot carrying my soaking wet child who is only more than happy to share the wealth with me and my entire side is pee-soaked by the time we get to the car.  We drove home in in pee-covered silence making a pit stop to get Chik-Fil-A milkshakes before coming home to delouse.   As I go to take D out of the car she looks at me sincerely and says "I'm your daughter and I love your soooooo much, Mommy!". 

That's all she needed to say.  The slate is clean my monkey, I will be eagerly awaiting tomorrow's embarrassment be it temper tantrum, slip of tongue or river of urine. 

7 comments:

  1. Too Funny! If I were there I would have helped you! Nasty mommies! Well, yesterday Little James told Big James the lawn needed watering and whipped it out and peed on the FRONT lawn! Gotta love these kids!

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  2. Don't laugh at my username, that is what my God daughter used to call me when she was younger!

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  3. Too funny, Wanda! And yes, I laughed at the username but only for a second ;)

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  4. OMG, that whole thing is hilarious, minus snooty scarf mommy and friends! I guess they have never had any truly humbling experiences with their little ones! LOVED IT!

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  5. I think I almost peed my pants laughing, I love that girl! I need to see her precious little face soon!

    Steph

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  6. OMG...that is a highly entertaining story. Very funny.

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  7. That is hilarious! Ran across your blog via Mamapedia. This is so funny, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that scarf mom will get hers too when her sweet baby in the $500 stroller is potty training and peeing all over the place in public. Maybe then she'll have use for the "summer scarf" in 100 degree temps.

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