Monkey: "No thank you, Mommy. I don't want to go to the doctor's today. Tell Dr. Epstein I see him another day."
Me: "Sorry, sweetie but we have to."
Monkey: "Mommy, I give you money to go to the doctor and I stay here with Chloe. Does that sound like a good idea?".
Me: "No, we still have to go."
Monkey: "I think I go hide in my bedroom now."
Luckily, I know where that is.....
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
"I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! " (sung to the tune of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand")
Monkey: "Mommy, I'm gonna squeeze your barrettes!"
Me: "What??"
Monkey: "Your barrettes!" followed by two firm squeezes of....you guessed it....my breasts!
Once again, teaching the proper terminology has bit me in the behind (that's the word we use at my house) AGAIN! The squeezing part, well, I am not sure where that came from!
Me: "What??"
Monkey: "Your barrettes!" followed by two firm squeezes of....you guessed it....my breasts!
Once again, teaching the proper terminology has bit me in the behind (that's the word we use at my house) AGAIN! The squeezing part, well, I am not sure where that came from!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Good Morning!
Mornings at the G house are usually crazy. I always joke with the neighbor that I must look like a total lunatic when leaving the house in the morning. Now, I have decided to write about it. Here's a look into the typical departure from the G house...
1. I am usually running late (well, what I consider late since I like to get to work 45 minutes early).
2. I refuse to make more than one trip from the house to the car. This means I carry approximately 22.3 bags of crap (this equals 11.15 bags on each arm) from the house to the car while trying to convince a 2 year old with no sense of urgency to walk to the car. "No, Mommy is not carrying you today." "Please don't run down the street." "Ahh! Why are you taking your shoes off!"
3. Every time we open the front door the dog tries to run out. So when the door is open you have to strategically place yourself between the storm and screen door so the dog cannot escape. And if she does escape yelling and cursing ensues. Imagine trying to cover your 2 year old's ears while carrying those 22.3 bags of crap!
4. Our driveway is on an incline. So, one misstep and you and/or your child and/or your 22.3 bags of crap could roll down the hill at any time. All 3 happened once, but I prefer to not talk about that day.
5. There is a bus stop at our corner. If I get stuck behind the bus it puts me at least 5 minutes behind. If I open the front door and can hear the bus coming we only have 3 seconds to get in the car. Not a pretty sight!
1. I am usually running late (well, what I consider late since I like to get to work 45 minutes early).
2. I refuse to make more than one trip from the house to the car. This means I carry approximately 22.3 bags of crap (this equals 11.15 bags on each arm) from the house to the car while trying to convince a 2 year old with no sense of urgency to walk to the car. "No, Mommy is not carrying you today." "Please don't run down the street." "Ahh! Why are you taking your shoes off!"
3. Every time we open the front door the dog tries to run out. So when the door is open you have to strategically place yourself between the storm and screen door so the dog cannot escape. And if she does escape yelling and cursing ensues. Imagine trying to cover your 2 year old's ears while carrying those 22.3 bags of crap!
4. Our driveway is on an incline. So, one misstep and you and/or your child and/or your 22.3 bags of crap could roll down the hill at any time. All 3 happened once, but I prefer to not talk about that day.
5. There is a bus stop at our corner. If I get stuck behind the bus it puts me at least 5 minutes behind. If I open the front door and can hear the bus coming we only have 3 seconds to get in the car. Not a pretty sight!
Spaghettios and Organic Yogurt
I think it may be illegal to put those two things in a lunch box together. If not illegal, the "Healthy Food Gods" are definitely frowning upon me. Ahh, well...at least I know D will eat her lunch tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"No, I love you more!"
Random conversations, statements and monkeyism's of the week:
Adam: "Um, D how did you get on the changing table?"
D: "I climbed!"
For lack of better words...DUH!
Me: "D do you want a smoothie?"
Delaney: "No! I don't want a squishy!"
Interesting translation...
D: "What am I doing?"
Me as I am turning to look "I don't know, what are you doing?"
Me: "OH GOD! YOU ARE PEEING ON THE COUCH!"
D: "Oh!"
She really needs to learn the potty dance so I can be forewarned of these things!
D on the toilet: "Uh oh, Mommy! I have to wipe my angina!"
Another interesting translation...
Me: "D we are going to go see J and the baby."
D: "The baby is going to lick me!"
Hmm.. apparently her interaction with babies has been much different than my own..
Pointing to a mole on my face D says "Look Mommy, it's your nipple!"
5 Very important things D learned this week: 1. To raise the roof (Thanks, Daddy!) 2. That going potty is more fun with a book. 3. That the bathroom has awesome acoustics (We got fantastic video of her singing in the bathroom this week!) 4. That snuggling is the best! 5. That she likes ground black pepper...A LOT!
My favorite moment this week? As I was putting D to bed one night I said "Goodnight, I love you!" and D grabbed my face between her two little hands and pulled my face to hers and said "No, I love you more!". Oh little girl, if you only knew just how much I love you. You make more possible everyday.....
Adam: "Um, D how did you get on the changing table?"
D: "I climbed!"
For lack of better words...DUH!
Me: "D do you want a smoothie?"
Delaney: "No! I don't want a squishy!"
Interesting translation...
D: "What am I doing?"
Me as I am turning to look "I don't know, what are you doing?"
Me: "OH GOD! YOU ARE PEEING ON THE COUCH!"
D: "Oh!"
She really needs to learn the potty dance so I can be forewarned of these things!
D on the toilet: "Uh oh, Mommy! I have to wipe my angina!"
Another interesting translation...
Me: "D we are going to go see J and the baby."
D: "The baby is going to lick me!"
Hmm.. apparently her interaction with babies has been much different than my own..
Pointing to a mole on my face D says "Look Mommy, it's your nipple!"
5 Very important things D learned this week: 1. To raise the roof (Thanks, Daddy!) 2. That going potty is more fun with a book. 3. That the bathroom has awesome acoustics (We got fantastic video of her singing in the bathroom this week!) 4. That snuggling is the best! 5. That she likes ground black pepper...A LOT!
My favorite moment this week? As I was putting D to bed one night I said "Goodnight, I love you!" and D grabbed my face between her two little hands and pulled my face to hers and said "No, I love you more!". Oh little girl, if you only knew just how much I love you. You make more possible everyday.....
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Old McDonald's
Alright, I can hear some of you right now "You take D to McDonald's?! Ewww!". Well stop your judging right now! Picking D up from daycare is an 80 minute round trip for me, so we make some sacrifices. Plus if I didn't go I wouldn't have this funny story to share, so read on...
Tonight was our first time visiting a McD's Play Land (PL from here on out). What an adventure!
Short story
I learned that a mother/daughter trip to McDonald's Play Land = a fattening dinner, a vomit-inducing experience, humiliation and one very happy 2 year old.
Long Story
We arrive at "Old McDonald's" (yes, that is what D calls it), stride past the food counter and straight in to PL. Upon entering I learn that PL is a freezing cold, plastic monstrosity that is probably a breeding ground for germs we don't even know exist. BLEH! But, like a true American mom, I take off her shoes and send her in. We were the only ones there so D was crawling around, waving and calling to me. Super cute! Then I hear "CRUNCH!". Me- "D what was that?" "CRUNCH!" Then her little head peeks around the tunnel corner and in her hand I see a fistful of french fries. AHHH!?!? Remember the part where we strode past the food counter! Those are not her french fries! "Delaney, drop the french fries they are dirty!" D- "CRUNCH!", followed by a huge grin. Ugh! Don't mind Mommy she is just dry heaving!
You know what happens next right? I HAVE TO CLIMB IN THE TUNNEL! Did I mention I came from work? Or that my pants today were a little tighter than I prefer? Seriously, it was like stuffing a sausage. Enough said...
For those of you who are wondering, I did retrieve D and the french fries. My best estimate would be that they were about a week old. .........there goes that dry heaving again!
We went on to have a fab mother/daughter dinner, once we got out of the PL. To top it all of, when she went to bed tonight D said "I love you Mommy, thank you for taking me to see Old McDonald". All is right with the world, well except that I will never get the image of her shoving those crusty old fries in her mouth out of my head (shudder). Next time we are eating in the car!
P.S.: Click on the highlighted words, they are links people!
Tonight was our first time visiting a McD's Play Land (PL from here on out). What an adventure!
Short story
I learned that a mother/daughter trip to McDonald's Play Land = a fattening dinner, a vomit-inducing experience, humiliation and one very happy 2 year old.
Long Story
We arrive at "Old McDonald's" (yes, that is what D calls it), stride past the food counter and straight in to PL. Upon entering I learn that PL is a freezing cold, plastic monstrosity that is probably a breeding ground for germs we don't even know exist. BLEH! But, like a true American mom, I take off her shoes and send her in. We were the only ones there so D was crawling around, waving and calling to me. Super cute! Then I hear "CRUNCH!". Me- "D what was that?" "CRUNCH!" Then her little head peeks around the tunnel corner and in her hand I see a fistful of french fries. AHHH!?!? Remember the part where we strode past the food counter! Those are not her french fries! "Delaney, drop the french fries they are dirty!" D- "CRUNCH!", followed by a huge grin. Ugh! Don't mind Mommy she is just dry heaving!
You know what happens next right? I HAVE TO CLIMB IN THE TUNNEL! Did I mention I came from work? Or that my pants today were a little tighter than I prefer? Seriously, it was like stuffing a sausage. Enough said...
For those of you who are wondering, I did retrieve D and the french fries. My best estimate would be that they were about a week old. .........there goes that dry heaving again!
We went on to have a fab mother/daughter dinner, once we got out of the PL. To top it all of, when she went to bed tonight D said "I love you Mommy, thank you for taking me to see Old McDonald". All is right with the world, well except that I will never get the image of her shoving those crusty old fries in her mouth out of my head (shudder). Next time we are eating in the car!
P.S.: Click on the highlighted words, they are links people!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)