Friday, April 15, 2011
What a compliment!
As I am dressing for a work banquet the other night I come out of my room in a dress. D takes one look at me and says "Mommy, what happened to you?". I respond "I am wearing a dress. Do I look nice?". And what does she say "Hmm, can I have a snack?". Huh, guess I didn't want to know the answer to that question!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Careful what you wish for
D has LOVED "Max and Ruby" for the past year and a half. We have lived and breathed M & R non-stop since she discovered them. I am ashamed to admit we have 38 M & R's saved on the DVR, had a M & R birthday party and D can recite several episodes verbatim. So, when D recently fell in love with "The Backyardigans" we were thrilled. We have cancelled the M & R series recording and moved on to the musical world of Tyrone, Pablo, Austin, Tasha and Uniqua. HOORAY! Only one small problem...when D woke up from nap today she looked at me very seriously and said "Don't call me Delaney, call me Uniqua!".
Poo Poo Platter
Let's set the stage for this story...
D and I are playing in her kitchen. She is wearing a purple apron, t-shirt and pull-up (no, I didn't forget to type pants- she hates them and rarely has them on at home) and holding her now ever-present purse in one hand. I am wearing my normal Mom clothes, including pants, and a pink apron and pink chef hat. Keep in mind that the chef hat and apron are D's, so the apron is more like a bib and the chef's hat is cutting off blood flow to my brain as it is about 3 sizes too small and was somehow squeezed on my head. Now that you have that visual, let's move on...
As I said, we are playing the kitchen. Suddenly D exclaims "I am POOPING!" and runs for the bathroom. She is about 5 steps ahead of me as I trip over everything on the floor in the disaster area better known as her bedroom (in our defense we have been playing all morning) . What do I hear as I am turning the corner into the bathroom? "OH NO!" What do I see? Well, I will leave out the gross details but I am sure you can imagine what it looks like when a 2 yr. old has taken off her dirty pull-up and is trying to climb up a stool on to the potty in an apron carrying a purse. No surface was left untouched by the pull-ups contents. However, we were lucky enough to have the dog who tried to pull clean duty until I kicked her out of the bathroom. I on the other hand was lucky enough to clean up the mess while wearing my smashing 2 yr. old sized pink chef combo.
D and I are playing in her kitchen. She is wearing a purple apron, t-shirt and pull-up (no, I didn't forget to type pants- she hates them and rarely has them on at home) and holding her now ever-present purse in one hand. I am wearing my normal Mom clothes, including pants, and a pink apron and pink chef hat. Keep in mind that the chef hat and apron are D's, so the apron is more like a bib and the chef's hat is cutting off blood flow to my brain as it is about 3 sizes too small and was somehow squeezed on my head. Now that you have that visual, let's move on...
As I said, we are playing the kitchen. Suddenly D exclaims "I am POOPING!" and runs for the bathroom. She is about 5 steps ahead of me as I trip over everything on the floor in the disaster area better known as her bedroom (in our defense we have been playing all morning) . What do I hear as I am turning the corner into the bathroom? "OH NO!" What do I see? Well, I will leave out the gross details but I am sure you can imagine what it looks like when a 2 yr. old has taken off her dirty pull-up and is trying to climb up a stool on to the potty in an apron carrying a purse. No surface was left untouched by the pull-ups contents. However, we were lucky enough to have the dog who tried to pull clean duty until I kicked her out of the bathroom. I on the other hand was lucky enough to clean up the mess while wearing my smashing 2 yr. old sized pink chef combo.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Manners and Imagination
Monkey: "No thank you, Mommy. I don't want to go to the doctor's today. Tell Dr. Epstein I see him another day."
Me: "Sorry, sweetie but we have to."
Monkey: "Mommy, I give you money to go to the doctor and I stay here with Chloe. Does that sound like a good idea?".
Me: "No, we still have to go."
Monkey: "I think I go hide in my bedroom now."
Luckily, I know where that is.....
Me: "Sorry, sweetie but we have to."
Monkey: "Mommy, I give you money to go to the doctor and I stay here with Chloe. Does that sound like a good idea?".
Me: "No, we still have to go."
Monkey: "I think I go hide in my bedroom now."
Luckily, I know where that is.....
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
"I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! I wanna squeeze your barrrrrreeeetttessss! " (sung to the tune of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand")
Monkey: "Mommy, I'm gonna squeeze your barrettes!"
Me: "What??"
Monkey: "Your barrettes!" followed by two firm squeezes of....you guessed it....my breasts!
Once again, teaching the proper terminology has bit me in the behind (that's the word we use at my house) AGAIN! The squeezing part, well, I am not sure where that came from!
Me: "What??"
Monkey: "Your barrettes!" followed by two firm squeezes of....you guessed it....my breasts!
Once again, teaching the proper terminology has bit me in the behind (that's the word we use at my house) AGAIN! The squeezing part, well, I am not sure where that came from!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Good Morning!
Mornings at the G house are usually crazy. I always joke with the neighbor that I must look like a total lunatic when leaving the house in the morning. Now, I have decided to write about it. Here's a look into the typical departure from the G house...
1. I am usually running late (well, what I consider late since I like to get to work 45 minutes early).
2. I refuse to make more than one trip from the house to the car. This means I carry approximately 22.3 bags of crap (this equals 11.15 bags on each arm) from the house to the car while trying to convince a 2 year old with no sense of urgency to walk to the car. "No, Mommy is not carrying you today." "Please don't run down the street." "Ahh! Why are you taking your shoes off!"
3. Every time we open the front door the dog tries to run out. So when the door is open you have to strategically place yourself between the storm and screen door so the dog cannot escape. And if she does escape yelling and cursing ensues. Imagine trying to cover your 2 year old's ears while carrying those 22.3 bags of crap!
4. Our driveway is on an incline. So, one misstep and you and/or your child and/or your 22.3 bags of crap could roll down the hill at any time. All 3 happened once, but I prefer to not talk about that day.
5. There is a bus stop at our corner. If I get stuck behind the bus it puts me at least 5 minutes behind. If I open the front door and can hear the bus coming we only have 3 seconds to get in the car. Not a pretty sight!
1. I am usually running late (well, what I consider late since I like to get to work 45 minutes early).
2. I refuse to make more than one trip from the house to the car. This means I carry approximately 22.3 bags of crap (this equals 11.15 bags on each arm) from the house to the car while trying to convince a 2 year old with no sense of urgency to walk to the car. "No, Mommy is not carrying you today." "Please don't run down the street." "Ahh! Why are you taking your shoes off!"
3. Every time we open the front door the dog tries to run out. So when the door is open you have to strategically place yourself between the storm and screen door so the dog cannot escape. And if she does escape yelling and cursing ensues. Imagine trying to cover your 2 year old's ears while carrying those 22.3 bags of crap!
4. Our driveway is on an incline. So, one misstep and you and/or your child and/or your 22.3 bags of crap could roll down the hill at any time. All 3 happened once, but I prefer to not talk about that day.
5. There is a bus stop at our corner. If I get stuck behind the bus it puts me at least 5 minutes behind. If I open the front door and can hear the bus coming we only have 3 seconds to get in the car. Not a pretty sight!
Spaghettios and Organic Yogurt
I think it may be illegal to put those two things in a lunch box together. If not illegal, the "Healthy Food Gods" are definitely frowning upon me. Ahh, well...at least I know D will eat her lunch tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)